"Here," he softly exasperated...
Um, I don't think that's how you want to say that.
Yeah, she admitted, and only to herself, that despite her hurt, she was intrigued.
Wha-? Am I the only one that thinks this sentence is incredibly awkward. (It's only one example of many.)
"I'm in and out, fast and furious, down and deep."
Is that supposed to be sexy??
She still couldn't believe the stranger was here. That he'd accepted her invitation to join her and Evan. Well, initially Evan's invitation. But seriously, or an introverted girl like her, loaded with hang-ups to land a hunk like this?
Introverted? I don't think there's enough wine in the world for you to go proposition a complete stranger.
...Green eyes unbuttoned his tailored trousers and shoved them down his hewn thighs...
Hewn? Seriously, is this a common way to refer to legs or muscles?
: to shape (something) by cutting with a sharp tool (such as an ax)
Katy was a self-admitted prude in many ways, but when it came to sex, though she tried to suppress it, the sensualist in her came out. It had taken Evan months of relentless pursuit to get her into bed. And now, even after six months, she was still reluctant to let herself go.
"I thought you didn't care...We're just fuck buddies."
"Is that all you think you are to me?"
"...I love fucking you....How could you ever think you were just a fuck buddy to me?"
Yes. That response would totally make me believe that you're more than just fuck buddies. Evan is an asshole. He's pissed and punishing her for a dare that he issued and she accepted. Please tell me he's not the hero.
I don't even really want to go on with this.